italia_kendai

The best April Fools' Day joke that I've fallen victim to happened when I was in high school, a junior if I remember correctly. There is a car port on the side of the garage at my house that I park under. Back then, two years ago roughly, I would constantly forget to lock my car. However, a few weeks ago, my father told me that I needed to start doing it because there were lots of people who were getting their cars broken into. So I started doing it. Well, two weeks later roughly, on April Fools' Day, my brother and I went out to my car. It wasn't there and I started to panic because I thought that my car had been stolen.

We turned around and my father was standing in the window and laughing his ass off. He pointed to the front of our yard and asked if I was looking for something. I looked and there was my car.

I was pissed at first, but it's pretty damn funny. And it worked because while I did lock my car, Dad's got a spare key.

Pretty funny. I'm looking forward to future April Fools' Days.

Merry Christmas to all! I hope you all had a great Christmas! I did, I got to spend it with my family and everything was well and good. My dad surprised me greatly with a new cell phone! I opened it up and nearly squealed. He also got Mom one, as well. Brendan, then, will be getting the TracFone. Mom was a little...I'm not sure what it was, but she let slip tonight that she was under the impression that she had sent Dad to get me a camcorder and headphones...at least that's what it sounded like. Now, that would've been great to have, to be honest. I would be able to use that in Japan most definitely, which is why she wanted me to have it. But I like the idea of a phone a bit better...I was going crazy not being able to get a hold of friends after 9:00 PM. I'm staying at my house, so I'm using the house line...but with the family rule being no incoming calls after 9:00 PM it was kind of hard. Especially if an impromptu, late starting shindig took place, you know?

Tonight was an amazing night! We went to my older brother's house to have dinner. His fiancee's son had gotten a Wii for Christmas and we all ended up playing it at some point. It was so much fun. When we got home, Takuma had called and asked me to call him back. I did, and we arranged to hang out tonight.

He talked with my parents for a bit while I milled around the house and then served up some ice cream. Then we all talked some more and it just made me smile and feel all giddy inside. Then we went downstairs, Takuma and I, and I popped in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest because Takuma hadn't seen it yet. We're going to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End soon...hopefully before he leaves for his vacation. I'm going to be sad when he's gone...We watched the movies on the couch and were...so close to cuddling at points. I got cold and wrapped up in a blanket and kind of just curled up on the couch...I think at one point we weren't even two inches apart...*giggles giddily*

BUT, I mentioned to him that I wasn't sure what I'd do for Christmas next year. I won't be here and the Christmas/New Year's break is about two weeks I think...maybe three...I'm pretty sure it's two...but anyway. I mentioned on the way to drop Takuma back at his place, that I was thinking about coming up to Tokyo during my Christmas break (because I know more people there...at least now anyway. But also because then I'll have a definite plan instead of winging it). He got all excited and told me that I had to come up to Tokyo (that he would make me, too) and that I would then stay with him instead of a hotel. He specifically told me to not book a hotel.

I couldn't help but start smiling my face off. I think it's permanently stuck in 'smile mode'. I'm even more excited about going to Japan. He told me he was going to visit me, too. But that's not the only reason I'm going to Tokyo (although it's a rather large part of it...that and visiting my other friends up there, too...but not Riyu because she'll be in the US then. >.<), and I'm sure a few of you know my other reason. LOL Where else am I gonna find some of the interesting things I said I'd bring?

Anyway, I hope everyone had a great, and merry Christmas! I definitely did. :D

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Friday I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). In June razor_defect and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). In May I broke panda_monium's X-Box (-12 points). Last Sunday I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In October I ruled Duluth, Minnesota as a kind and benevolent dictator (700 points). Overall, I've been nice (1026 points). For Christmas I deserve an XBox 360! Sincerely, italia_kendai

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Enjoy

Creepy creepy creepy! Sometimes I hate having MSN Messenger because of the creepers lurking about. How do they get my e-mail address? I've no idea. But it's creepy. I was just sitting here listening to music and moving to the beat in my chair (I can't dance in the office XD) when I get an IM from someone I don't know. Here's how it went:

~*~Cast~*~
Me: Need I say more?
CG: Creepy Guy

CG: hello
Me: Uhm...hello...?
CG: how are u doing am *Creepy Guy* and u?
Me: I'm fine...Yourself?
CG: am cool whats ya name
Me: I'm Erynn...
CG: m'f
Me: Female...
CG: oh ok do u have a cam
Me: No.
CG: oh ok how old are u
Me: 19
CG: oh ok


I don't know why I indulge these people, but conversations with them don't last much longer than that before they stop talking or I block them. There always seems to be the one, though, that I always miss blocking and so I'm stuck with them because then I never remember to block them. But I blocked this guy and am done with that. What is it with people and their fascination with web cameras?

There's only one person that I tell everything to, and we have a great relationship, her and I. She should know who she is. ^^ With her, I can tell her everything and not have to worry about whether or not she's listening, and she can tell me anything to. We listen and help each other out. We're like sisters, or at least I like to feel that way.

This morning I've never felt so bad, so guilty for going into work, so sick. Last night was a craptastic night. My mom and I got into a fight. Thankfully it bowled over pretty quickly, but the fight with her was enough to make me feel sick. My brother has fully managed to single-handedly destroy the family. Mom and Dad don't know what to do anymore and it's getting to the point where they're about to give up.

And the only person I can tell this to is my 'sis'. I can't even TRY to tell someone else about it because someone ends up having some bad day and they need to rant to me. The first thing someone said to my online this morning was 'I'm lonely, talk to me?' And I couldn't help thinking 'what the hell? I tried to talk to you LAST night and you didn't respond and ignored me. If you're lonely, deal with it. That's what I've had to do my whole goddamned entire life.'

Do other people just view me as Happy Happy Girl? 'What can happy that's so bad in Happy Happy Erynn land, huh?' Maybe this is why I have trust issues. Those who always promised me 'if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be there to listen', do they really mean 'if you ever want to talk about things that won't depress me then let's talk when it's convenient for me'? Sometimes I wonder.

Is my reason for existence chalked up to be a listener for everyone else and go around with a happy mask on for all eternity?

Sad thing is...the people I hang out with the most ('sis' excluded) probably don't even know that, yes, I'm going through depression. Severe depression. For the last three and a half years. And the entire time I've had to battle it. BY MYSELF. That means 'ALONE'. Even when my parents sent me to the psychiatrist she wasn't helping. One, because I was sent there for anger, not for depression. And when I'd want to talk about how I felt the shrink would always turn it towards anger and my parents. Mind you, I didn't want to talk to her anyway.

And I know that none of them understand that for the longest time I felt that because I had broken a promise to the Higher Order it was my fault that my sister (in-law but I hate those suffixes, it's like saying they don't belong in the family) was killed. That whatever Higher Order might exist was taking payment for my broken promise.

Ugh. This journal entry turned into a long, emotional post and that's not what I truly intended. I kind of just meant to rant. So I'll get back to that.

I feel like I'm just a replacement. Someone to 'talk to' until the person they really want to talk to gets online or whatever. I'm stuck in the middle between two people who only talk to me when they other isn't online and as soon as that other person gets online I'm shoved behind the curtain and ignored.

Oh well...I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. I'll just sit here and answer telephones like I'm supposed to. So ring phone, ring damn it.

I hate it when friends of mine are dating. When two of them start dating...it just puts an entirely different atmosphere around everything. It also...kind of makes me depressed about it. And normally, I wouldn't even be updating on LiveJournal anymore (I kind of promised myself I'd just quit LJ) except for the fact that the people I'm talking about are all on deviantART and I don't feel like reading their comments (if any of them even comment)and then kind of defending myself.

A lot of the time I feel like I can't be honest with them about how I feel. Everyone's always seen me as the cheerful, happy, carefree person...even when I'm not. And this is one of those times. I had a chance to hang out with a few of them, and I did, tonight. However, after about an hour I wanted to go home...but I wanted them to ask me to stay. I...I think I just wanted to feel wanted, because let's face it, I wasn't really feeling like I was much of a contribution to anything tonight...I tried...but it failed. (So what else is new, ne?)

I doubt this is worth the trouble mentioning (hell, I doubt this ENTIRE journal is worth the trouble of me typing) but I've had a disturbing dream about my family just up and moving us. And I tried to get a hold of my friends...but they were all too busy to listen to me so I ended up moving without telling anyone. And then one day I got an IM from one of them inviting me over to the (sometimes) weekly game night. I wrote back and told them I wouldn't be able to make it. When asked why, I replied that I wasn't even in the same town anymore. The response has varied from rage (at my not telling them) to sadness. I almost want to know what would happen...

I really do dislike feeling like this, all sad and crap. But I guess the main point I'm trying to get across is that I wish I wasn't able to hide my feelings so damn well. I mean, sure, it's great when I DON'T want people to know how I feel, like those I don't feel comfortable enough to show anything. But a person can only be so cheerful...I just...considering how long I've known my friends, I just wish that they'd maybe notice that something's amiss even though I'm all cheerful on the outside.

Oh well...

I can’t remember a time I ever willingly told someone when something was bothering me. I’ve always preferred to deal with it on my own. I didn’t want to burden them with my problems...especially when people appear to be busy. But then of course, by pushing people away I get more and more lonely and then I get depressed. God damn it, I thought I was past all this bullshit. I guess not.

Lately my dreams have been plagued by darkness. It’s the same thing every night. I’m driving with my brother and someone, most often a kid in my Japanese class, is driving drunk and smashes into the side of the car. By some miracle I’m able to survive but every time I watch my brother die and hear his last words. That’s something I want to do. That’s not something I look forward to seeing at night. Especially when it makes me wake up, two hours earlier than my intended wake-up time, in tears and a cold sweat. I’ve been so exhausted because of it, but I won’t/can’t go to bed until around midnight.

Lately it seems (I’ve noticed how often I use ‘lately’) that all people want to do is talk about themselves...or some people. I’ve also noticed that I’m beginning to not want to be around some people in my Japanese class. There’s maybe one person who I’ve hung out with on a regular basis who I still want to hang out with...I feel bad for feeling like that...but some people just irritate me...I don’t like feeling like that...Not one bit.

Just to go back to the whole dealing with my problems on my own thing: I KNOW that there are people who’d be willing to help me. I’d like to try to approach them...but I just...can’t. Or maybe I don’t know how. I mean, honestly, what kind of person would want to get a message that was “Hey I’m depressed and lonely and sadder than all hell.” Not many people. Not in this world anyway. Now it’s all about yourself. Or somehow connecting someone else’s problems to your OWN life and its woes. *sigh* I hate feeling this way...I swear this has been happening like...every two weeks...off and on...maybe every month. And I hate my own god damned stubbornness to just talk to someone because I don’t like opening myself up. I prefer to hide behind a ‘happy mask’ and show the world that I’m not still dealing with depression. I prefer to cover that up and pay attention to my friends and any problems that they might have.

I almost want to go home. Being at home would destroy any boredom I get. Because let’s face it, almost every night I get bored and I don’t really know what to do. It happens after I do homework so I can’t do homework to ease my boredom and one can only play Solitaire for so long before they want to tear out their hair.

Wow...four consecutive failures to start a conversation. So I guess even if I wanted to talk to someone...it’d be kind of hard with my friends list...I’m jealous. Everyone’s busy. Must be nice.

Okay...so now I’m going to go and try to find a way to defeat this stupid depression and boredom and loneliness right now...Doubt it will happen...(maybe I’ll try to beat this pessimism first...)

I don't know why I do this to myself...I get my hopes up every god damned time someone says they might be back online. And of course...how often has that meant that they will? Almost never. Yet I still hold on to that tiny flame of hope that maybe this time is different. Well it certainly isn't/wasn't.

So now I find myself wanting some to just cuddle up to. Doesn't matter who, just as long as they're willing to hold me. And of course, the only person who is/was the closest to me in physical proximity has gone home because he's taking his parents to the airport tomorrow...and I doubt he would've done it anyway.

Thankfully though I have tomorrow evening to look forward to. hana_ginkawa is going to come over and watch House with me. And oh, they fixed Fox apparently because I passed by it briefly and it wasn't like it was last week. So if it stays like that again tomorrow, maybe we can watch it upstairs on the 11th floor. Or maybe we'll just hang out in my room and watch it in solitude...depends on what you feel up to hana_ginkawa. I'm fine with whatever.

I don't know if I really want to go to class tomorrow...I'm not in a people mood...I guess that my mental breakdown that threatened last week is back and this time I can actually have it because my friend who's staying here until he moves to the second floor (sometime this week)has gone to stay at his parents' house tonight (yes, he's the friend taking them to the airport). So I can cry and be all mopey by myself.

But enough talk about me. I know I already mentioned looking forward to tomorrow for the House fun...guess there isn't much to talk about...

Called hana_ginkawa tonight and we had a fun chat. She got to hear me and Nick "argue" and fun stuff like that and I got an update on her weekend fun. I'd say more about what we talked about, but it's not really my place, so yeah...let's just say it was "girl talk". Anyway, bed time since I'm bored. 'Night.

Wow...well, welcome back to LJ...It's been...how long? Five months? I don't know. Perhaps I should've done "proper research" before I started posting again.

So, to get down to business. This journal will probably determine if I'm going to stay on here (by that I mean use this as my normal updating journal, I'll still read my friends' list no matter what) or not.

My friend Nick is spending the night(s) in my dorm room because his roommate on the fourth floor brought alcohol and would come home late at night drunk. So he's moving out of that room but until he officially moves he's going to be crashing in my dorm room. Right now I'm not sure if that's such a good idea...Apparently he's at least bi instead of gay (not that that matters) and he's been 'dating' this girl for a few days. The night before he started spending the night (Monday night) in my dorm room he and her watched American Pie while I was on the computer. That's not a bad thing, but apparently they made out during various parts of the movie and Nick told me this when it was over and they were leaving for the night. I didn't know about any of this because I was sitting at my desk with my back turned to them and my headphones were on with music so I couldn't hear the movie.

Anyway, I digress (like always). So right now he and his girlfriend (for lack of another word since I don't know if three or four days is enough to consider anyone boyfriend and girlfriend) are just sitting in the dorm room and talking and being all lovey dovey. It makes me...a little uncomfortable is the word I'm looking for I guess. But I don't want to just kick him out, it's nice to have a roomie...sort of.

I think I'd rather have the room to myself (since my first roommate just up and left one day when I was having dinner with my family) and just invite people over for awhile...not have them spend the night over many times...I mean, once in awhile is okay...like maybe once every two or three days is fine, but yeah...Nick talked to the people in charge at the front desk and my RA (Resident Assistant, who's very cool btw) and they all said it was okay so I don't really care too much if he's here. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm going to go and kill some time by doing nothing so...bye.

Yes, a series of numbers. Don't worry, it does have a significance. I wouldn't put it in my journal otherwise...okay, maybe I would, but this is different. This is fun random knowledge that I doubt any of you will ever need to know. So, just be patient and read through. You'll enjoy it, trust me; whether it is the series of numbers, or my madness, you'll enjoy it. I cast a knowing look upon you all.

Now, are you ready for the numbers? I asked you, are you ready for the numbers? I want an answer. Give me an answer. Give me an answer, please. Oh? Was that all that was needed? A 'please'? Okay, good. So, please? Thank you.

The numbers...they mean- oh, one second, my mother is calling me.




Okay, I'm back. I apologize for my interruption. I'm sure I have you all intrigued by now. No? Oh, then perhaps I should just let this revelation linger for a moment or two. No? Oh, okay then. I guess I won't.

The numbers mean: 01-02-03-04-05-06. Simple as pie, yes? Wrong! They have a hidden meaning.

The first three numbers are: the time. Not the time NOW, but the time eventually. 1:02:03. It doesn't matter whether it's AM or PM. Do you understand? No? Okay, let me explain. 1= One o' clock 2= Two minutes after one o' clock 3= Three seconds after two minutes after one o' clock. Do you understand now? Yes? Okay, good. Moving on to the last three numbers.

The last three numbers are: the date. Not the date NOW, but the date eventually. More specifically, the date Wednesday. 04-05-06. Understand? Confused? Yes? Okay, good. Let me explain. 04= April, the month of April 05= The fifth day of April, the month. The fifth day of April is a Wednesday 06= The year, the year of 2006. Which, as we know, or should know, is shortened to 06.

Now, put everything together. Do you get it? No?! Okay. Let me explain:
At 1:02:03 (Two minutes and Three seconds after One) on April 5, 2006 (Wednesday) is the only time in a thousand years you will get 01-02-03-04-05-06 in that order.

Get it now? 01-02-03-04-05-06. And the good news is, it actually happens twice! In the AM and in the PM. Isn't that great news??!!

There's a method to my madness. Believe me, there is.

(And yes, I know that I am roughly two days early. I just wanted to give everyone a chance to take in the glory of such a day.)

Guy from the Navy calls. Tell him I'm not interested. Then he asks if I know anyone who would be interested and likes to travel. Bastard. I hate you. You spoke the magic word. (Erynn loves to travel, folks). So now I have an appointment with them tommorrow. I'm selling my SOUL

That is all.

It's really interesting, in the not-so-good way I mean. It's interesting how one moment a person can be relatively carefree and somewhat happy, but then all it takes is one phone call to change all that.

My mom woke me up this morning about 8:00 AM to tell me that my grandma had taken a turn for the worse and she was going to Great Falls. I wish now that I'd woken up fully and insisted upon going with her.

Grandma died this morning before my mom could get to Great Falls and be with her. Fluid filled up her lungs, so I was told. That's the second grandma who died by fluid in their lungs. I wanted to see Grandma before she died. We found out last week that her leg from the knee down was gangrene and removing it wasn't an option because she's D.N.R. so she was going to live in hospice care on morphine until she died. Which was supposed to be two months from last week.

I was going to go see her next week, because that's when the next trip to Great Falls was planned to go visit her. But obviously, that didn't happen. I hope my mom is okay, though, she's by herself in Great Falls, and my dad, brother, and I are probably going to go to Great Falls to be with her.

Random very short entry because I'm tired and I only want to tell this funny, or what kikuko_kamimura and I think is funny....maybe it's because you'd have to be there...*shrugs*

Okay, so I'm dropping hana_ginkawa off at her home and there's a guy in a hooded shirt and baggy pants walking by this building where, when I back up to leave her place, I back into that general area. But there was someone in the spot that I ususally park in so I had to park in a weird angle and whatnot. So I'm backing up and I get over the little railroad tie that is the barrier between the gravel and the little patch of grass. I don't know what brought this thought on, but I turned to kikuko_kamimura and say , here's the conversation:

Me: Wasn't there a guy walking back there just now?
Her: Yeah...I think so....
Me: Oh fuck, did I just hit him? (is driving out to the street while asking this.)
Her: *laughs* It's too late to do anything about it now.

So that's my funny random story, and now I'm going to bed. Ja ne minna-san! Oyasumi (or Oyasu-hayou)

Third time I've retyped that same stupid title. Damn me and my fucking stupidity. And now, of course, I get distracted so I'll be up late again, damn me.

Anyway, I was sitting at the kitchen counter watching Sister, Sister because I'd just finished dinner and I didn't really feel like getting up and going downstairs just yet. The phone rings and I look over at the Caller ID and I see that it's from Molly. I mentally groan. Don't want to deal with her at the moment as usual. I pick up the phone because I might as well get it over with. The first thing she says after the usual 'Hi', was "What classes did you have today?" in those kind of creepy stalker jealously voice. It's like, 'How DARE my classes take up my time! Bad classes bad!' I respond with, "The same as last semester...." Because personally, I don't like telling other people what classes I have. It's not really their business in general, the only people to whom the knowledge of what classes I'm taking are: Me and my parents. And my fish and dog Or at least, that's my opinion. I don't go around asking other people...well, sometimes I do if I'm going to go to their classes with them, a.k.a. the college student friends I have. But then she freaks out and demands to know what classes I have, so I just rattle them off. Which of course, is followed by more questions that I don't want to answer because now it feels like I'm under the spotlight in a police station for questioning relating to a murder or something. I get uncomfortable when people ask me lots of questions that they don't really, or I feel they don't, need to know. One time, she asked me when "that time of month" ocurred for me. Now THAT was really uncomfortable.

Now, I don't mind the girl. But she is very clingy and gets jealous in a drop of a hat. Back in September when I was hosting two girls from Kumamoto for their band trip here, I hung out with them. The Friday after they arrived, which was the Thursday night before, I let them sleep in because I had first period off. They spend second period with me, and I had kikuko_kamimura with me to help translate and make things run waaay smoother. The girls, and the whole band, left right after third period to go rehearse and kikuko_kamimura just stayed the rest of the day at school with me. After school, we go to my car and find Molly hovering over it. We exchange pleasantries for a brief moment. And just as I'm about to get in, she shouts, "You have a piece of paper in your car. I don't know who it's from though." It turned out to be a 'bitching-me-out-because-I-was-"having more fun with my other friends"-note'.

It's very bizarre how she freaks out when I do different things with my other friends. She expects me to do exactly what I do with a friend to. If I were to do what I do to her as I do with hana_ginkawa and kikuko_kamimura she wouldn't be coming home until like 3 in the morning and also be expected to keep up speed with the jokes. I tried explaining that I do different things with other people, but that doesn't determine which one I have the better relationship with. It's just different relationships. Like my mother and my father, I'm closer to my dad, but that doesn't change the fact that my mom is still my mom, we just have a different relationship than my dad and I. *shrugs*.

Molly calls at the worst times for me. She'll call as I just finish dinner and am cleaning up my dishes and eating area. Or she'll call as I'm playing the piano, or doing my homework, or doing something on the computer that takes up the majority of my attention, or even, which happened yesterday, just as I'm about to take a nap. You can't really explain to her either that you're busy and can't talk. She'll keep on talking away. I spent thirty-three minutes yesterday, yes I counted, telling her I was going to take a nap because I was exhausted and that I'd see her tomorrow.

A creepier thing though, she expects me to punish her if she does bad stuff....O_o. It's really, really, REALLY creepy. She'll call or write notes and tell me all the "bad stuff" she did and then says, "You need to punish me."

But since I'm in an annoyed mood tonight, I might as well go on with one other person before I go to bed, like.....-an hour and thirty minutes.

Nick. There are some aspects that I like about him, but now I'm remembering why we never spoke for the last four or three years. He can be...kind of a jerk. He's lucky with his parents, they give him roughly $500 a month. It used to be $100 a week though, but his parents changed their minds. And then he has the audacity to bitch about how his parents won't let him do this, or that, but they'll give him money. And another really, weird thing, which, if anyone's made it this far, please give me some advice on this matter:

We have band together, right before lunch. While we pack away our instruments and music, he gets done before me, because he plays the string bass, so he just puts it in a case and he's good to go. I, playing the clarinet, clean my instrument and take it apart and put it away. While I'm doing this, he walks over and asks if I want lunch. I don't know why I don't just turn him down, I guess it's partly because I don't get lunch money except for a few days a month from my parents, so I normally would go without eating until I got home from school (don't eat breakfast either). So I'm hungry and I'll respond with a 'sure'. On the days I'd get enough money from my parents, I would be able to buy for us, which is very rare, because when I get any denomination higher five I usually have to use it for gas because they expect me to drive with a full tank for four weeks (in my car a full tank lasts two because I go back and forth to school which is roughly 6-8 miles from my house). So Nick usually ends up paying, and he's the one who always offers. So now, he pretty much rubs it in my face, subvertently I assume, I don't think he realizes that he's doing it, but he might, I don't know, that I owe him at least $100 because of lunch. Am I wrong in thinking that's not fair?

But one last thing about Nick, and I apologize to EVERYONE for the major rantiness of this journal. I can be a real bitch at times, especially when something I claim is taken from me or touched without my permission etc. And I know this is petty, but I can't help but feel angry. There is this piece, a duet between a violin and piano. Orignally, phoenixofstars claimed the violin part, but I haven't heard from her about it and I wanted to practice with the violin. I couldn't find the one friend I had who played the violin so I asked Nick if he knew anyone who'd be willing to try it out with me. He looks at the piece and says that he'll do it if we lowered it about two octaves so he could play it on the bass. Then, he looked at the piano piece after I gave him the violin/bass copy and he sat down at the piano (I was getting a drink from the fountain) and began to play it. I don't mind him playing it once or twice, but he went and made a copy of it without asking me and now he plays it everytime he's near a piano when I'm with him. I refused from then on to show him any other piano pieces that I worked hard to find. I'm serious, it took me forever to find the violin/piano duet after I first heard the song, roughly a year ago. He wants another piece that I've shown extreme interest in, he wants it when I find it, which I'm still looking for.

I lied, here's the last thing. He's gotten interested in Japanese all of a sudden. kikuko_kamimura and I, and I think possibly hana_ginkawa too, feel that it's because he only wants to know what we/they say. My knowledge is very limited, while hana_ginkawa and kikuko_kamimura have whole conversations. But I don't know his motives behind that. He wants to major in music education and minor in Japanese, which, according to his brother and his parents, is extremely sudden.

Okay, I apologize to everyone for the rant of the season from me. This has taken me several tries because I'm a stupid dumbass who keeps changing this window, and it's now late and I need to be in bed in -2 hours.

I'll update later with happier stuff >.< Ja!

I've got a betta fish thanks to hana_ginkawa whom I thank with all my heart and then some. Been debating on the little one's name ever since we left the store. I do like Kizu-chan, because he has a little black spot on the tip of his tail, but I really really like Mercurius, which stemmed from hana_ginkawa saying that I should call him "Mercury". I remembered the episode of Sailor Moon where Ami (Sailor Mercury) semi-challenges a boy named "Mercurius" in the cram school practice exam rosters (or something like that) and since he's a male betta, Mercurius popped in my head and it's kind of stuck with me the entire time...I suppose his full name could be Mercurius no Kizu. Mercurius-kun or Kizu-chan for short^_^ That and he's blue. Not the dark blue that you mainly see, but a real light blue that's really cool.

But yeah, I didn't mean to actually update. I meant to go to bed. >.>

Oyasumi!

So, yesterday, I ran into someone I hadn't seen for the better part of 14 or 15 years. Someone I didn't really feel like seeing ever again, especially since I'd heard nothing from her. I ran into (not literally of course) a woman I used to call Aunt, until she left my uncle and never made contact again.

I was at Wal-Mart, looking for a CD I wanted when I turned and there was the woman staring at me. I got a little freaked out so I turned the other way. I'm going down the next aisle and there she is again. I walk past her, squeezing past her, apologizing and then she grabs my arm. I freak the shit out. I hate it when people grab my arm or whatever, I just don't like people touching me in general. She smiles at me and says, "Erynn, right? Do you remember me? I'm your Aunt Sarah."

I blink confusedly and say to her, "I'm sorry, but I don't remember you, so please, let me go." She nodded and handed me a piece of paper with a number on it and she said, "Give me a call and we'll go hang out sometime. I haven't seen you since you were little." .........Well no shit, you just dropped off the face of the Earth and expect me to just be like, welcome you with open arms? No thanks. I nodded and folded the piece of paper and quickly left the store. When I got outside, I threw it away.

Honestly, I wouldn't have any problem with her except for the fact that she nearly killed my little brother due to her carelessness. If my mother had turned around from the fence at the moment she did, my little brother would've drowned. My mom jumped in the swimming pool and saved his ass. Maybe that's why she's cool sometimes.

I know that happened a long time ago, and I should 'get over it' as someone told me today when I relayed this story, but you know what? I don't want to get over it. I don't like the woman, and that's all I can say. I don't know why, I just don't.

But for today's news, I woke up around quarter to 5 with a wicked ass motherfucking migraine. I foolishly spent fifteen-twenty minutes trying to fall asleep, but that didn't work. So I got up and went to the bathroom. There I remembered that I had like five bottles of Maximum Strength Pamprin. I normally would have taken Advil, but that was upstairs in my backpack, and I didn't want to wander upstairs with a pounding migraine of death in the dark with four dogs upstairs, so Pamprin was my only choice. Now, the funny thing about me and Pamprin is that when it's in my system, anything with a steady beat, like your heart beating or whatever, no rhythm, just dun...dun...dun...dun...dun (etc.) makes me sleepy. I was planning on taking two, but I could only get one down before my gag reflex was like, "HELL NO BITCH." So I spent the next ten minutes prepared to puke. That never happened so I went back to bed where the pounding of my migraine put me to sleep.

I woke up two hours later, at about 7:15. I slept right through my alarm clock...oops. Still have my migraine of death, Pamprin helps knock me out, but does shit for migraines. (For me anyway) I hurry and get dressed and rush out the door. As I'm driving to school I remember that I have Advil, which is much stronger for me and works much quicker. Sadly though, that doesn't help much this time. It's dwindled down to major-pain-in-the-ass headache of death with a hint of migraine-y evilness.

I don't want to take another Advil and I know that I can deal with the major-pain-in-the-ass headache of death with a hint of migraine-y evilness for my first four classes, because first period was simply an orientation of my creative writing class that I could easily zone out to and the teacher has a soothing voice for me for some odd reason...second period we were watching a movie that I could manage to watch. Third period we seriously did nothing, which made me sad but oh well. And fourth period, I just dealt with it and died. Fourth period I have band so yeah...ouch. >.O

But yay for lunch, I took another Advil and managed to make my major-pain-in-the-ass headache of death with a hint of migraine-y evilness into a minor-butthead-but-tolerable headache that I'm able to function, if not at optimum level a decent level of attention, during my English and Government class which was what mattered the most.

So yeah, just took another Pamprin to get me to sleep because I left my Advil in my car....once again. ^^; So I have limited time before I drop on my keyboard and short it out by drool. >.<

Oh, and Ama-chan, this icon is dedicated to you. ^_^

Don't even want to bother thinking of a title for my journal right now. Not when I'm about to go and take a shower and hopefully just sit there with the hot water running on my back, and then letting me get better, so I can BREATHE. Yes, children, breathing is an important part of life. What's that you say, Timmy? Breathing's overrated? Digressing is a fun part of life too, children.

But yeah, I've got a fever, yay for me. But instead of a normal person going to sleep and drinking lots of water, I'm watching Phantom of the Opera, updating my LiveJournal, and drinking lots of water. My mom came home and felt my forehead with her hand and it felt so good I grabbed her hand and held it there. Then came the dreaded thermometer. Not a fun thing to try to do, holding your breath for an obscenely long amount of time to find out that...You have a fever of 97.7. Yes, a fever. For me, a 97.7 on the illness factor is a fever.

Hiding down in the basement is another fun thing to do, especially when it's cool enough that you can actually sit and watch T.V. in relative comfort. Yay comfort.

Okay, off to take my shower now. Hopefully it will clear my sinuses up a tad. Wish me luck.

Anyone seen my PEZ dispenser? I can't find it. It's purple with a pink bunny for the dispensing of the candy part. I want it now damnit.

You heard me, Goblin Cock. kikuko_kamimura, hana_ginkawa, and I were leaving China Buffet and kikuko_kamimura wanted to go to Budget for a bit. So we're in there wandering around when kikuko_kamimura found T.M.Revolution's Seventh Heaven album. As we near the check out place thing, there were a bunch of discounted CDs, mainly older stuff, like The Tao of Groove. But there were a lot of those CDs with the various artists. So kikuko_kamimura decides that we have to start a band and name it "Various" just to fuck with the CD stockers.
THEM: Umm...does this go under various artists or the band Various?
Later....
ME PRETENDING TO BE ONE OF THOSE INTERVIEWERS: Tell me, and the viewers, why you decided to name your band Various?
KIKU: I wanted to fuck with the CD stockers.
*totally unrelated but thought it'd be fun to ask* ME PRETENDING STILL: Congratulations! Various has reached platinum, as a reward, you get to meet anyone of your choice, please tell us who it'd be.
HANA-CHAN AND ME SIMULTANEOUSLY: yasu.

But anyway, so we go and look at a few other bands....there was one named Fuck, a CD I'd buy just to leave lying around the house so my mother can freak the shit out. And then we saw this one, Goblin Cock. Hard to beat that. So that's been a fun joke for us all. But I've previewed their music and they're not too bad considering my normal tastes. I might have to get their CD someday. ^^

Oh, we had a test in government class today, a news quiz to be more specific. One of the questions I know for 100% I got right was, Which American export did Japan recently allow back? (paraphrased) MY ANSWER:(all in caps lock) AMERICAN BEEF AND NOW KIYO-CHAN IS HAPPY!
Of course, our teacher corrected them during the class period. So I was sitting over in my desk happily humming along to whatever song it was that I was listening to, I think it was process, but I don't remember, when a friend of mine tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention so I put my music on pause and while I was helping him out, I hear my teacher's chuckle, which is really deep because he's like Santa Claus if Santa Claus grew up hunting reindeer instead of learning how to make them lead his sleigh. I look up at him and he's looking at me and smiling and laughing and shaking his head. Yup, he was grading my paper. I think I amused him greatly. ^_^

Okay, that's it for today, I want to go tell kiyo how I dry my socks ^^ Ja ne!

For some reason I'm extremely exhausted, which makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. I went to sleep last night around 8, 8.30 PM and woke up about 6.20, but around 6.15, when I was watching Jeopardy!, I suddenly got really exhausted. It doesn't make much sense, but I suppose I shouldn't fight it. *shrugs* But whatever the reason, I'm planning on going to bed as soon as I finish this journal....around 7.30 PM. How strangepatheticbizarre is that?

I scared the shit out of my teacher today. I came to school crying beause I had to wait for my brother to get ready for school, when he had over half an hour to do so, and so my parents, mainly my devilbatshit crazy mother, hounded me about pathetic crap that I already know that I need to do. Do you think you guys could once in my life stop treating me like I'm worthless and a burden to you? I already know that I am, I don't need you guys reminding every five seconds of every goddamn motherfucking day. Honestly, it's been, what? Three? Four days since I moved back into my house because fiedael was coming back from her break? And already I'm driven to a mental breakdown bad enough where I'm crying on my way to school and during my first class of the day.

Oh well, now I know why I need/needed to take antidepressants. And I've decided, from now on, if my brother's not ready to leave by the time I leave, he can find his own damn way to school.

Hmm...oh yeah, I've signed up for the Foreign Language Day at the University of Montana. I'm trying to figure out which classes I want to go to or which presentations.....I think I'll go to Tachibana-sensei's class and maybe her presentation...and then I could just get up butt-ass early and go to the 8.10 Spanish class and then the one later in the morning...or I could sleep in.........I don't know. What do you guys think? Those who attend the U of M would be a big help, and anyone in general. Just to say right now, I plan to major in both Spanish and Japanese so either way, I'm taking Spanish classes and Japanese classes. XDD

Ja, it's bed time for me. Oyasumi!